Eight Random Election Afterthoughts

1. Ara Mina lost. Anjo Yllana lost. Aiko Melendez lost. Bottomline: Pops and Paulie, don't even think about it. Or better yet, tell everyone you don't know who the heck Jomari Yllana is.

2. May mga schoolmates (high school and college) pala akong politicians. Sa mga nanalo,congratulations! Sa mga di masyadong mapalad, (a) Di kailangan nasa gobiyerno para maglingkod-bayan, (b) Stick to your guns and serve the public if that's really your calling; the public will see through you, (c) End of the world na raw sa 2012, but then kungpostponed there's always 2013.

3. If Noy would rather be sworn in by a barangay captain, look no further. Anjan na sa senado o, number 1 pa - IDOL KO SI KAP BONG REVILLA!!!

4. Risa Hontiveros said it’s mathematically impossible for her to get the 12th spot in the senate race. Ma’am, as much as it hurts me to say this, we were hoping against hope. After all, ang kalaban mo sa karera, nakakabayo! Ang pagbabalik ni Leon Guerrero sa senado!

5. Villar and Loren lost, and I was kinda expecting them to get even with their ineffective endorsers by replacing them in their shows. After all, they paid millions to these stars for... nothing. So I was visualizing a Jed Madela vs Eric Santos vs Christian Bautista vs Tita Loren showdown tomorrow on ASAP XV. I was also expecting Tito Manny to get contestants who swam in a sea of garbage for Wheel of Fortune and Biga-10. But now that it's Binoe Padilla hosting Wowowee, I guess Tito Manny will have to make do with replacing Lolo Pidol in his TV5 shows and guesting in Show Me the Manny, perhaps.

6. The only scandals that work nowadays are scandals about stolen stuff. This means, yes, Filipinos (including me) do not really care about having a president having allegedly failed what turned out to be fake psychological tests (I didn't vote for Noy because of his apparent lack of skills, not because he was allegedly cuckoo. Heck, the first senator I shaded was #13 - someone who has been confirmed depressed after her son's death – Miriam). People of my hometown don't really care much for Japayukis getting allegedly raped by the vice mayor and several councilors. The councilors who ran again, plus the vice mayor all won. Compare these to the C5 extension and PSE sweet deal scandals that were thrown to Tito Manny. No amount of endorsements from Lolo Pidol, Wowowee and People's Champ resuscitated his credibility.

7. What the effing eff was Willie Revillame thinking, challenging ABS-CBN to fire him because of Jobert Sucaldito, just days before the elections? In the first place, he's not exactly A"Bias"-CBN's (I don't really 100% believe in this, I just want to use it) darling as of the moment as he endorsed Manny while the TV network has made it quite clear from the start they were leaning towards a Noynoy presidency. And the smug attitude by saying "ABS-CBN is not the only TV station in the Philippines." The heck? ABS-CBN has kept you despite that "explain before you complain" scandal, the anniversary stampede and your generally inept and irritating manner of hosting. Now that your presidential candidate lost and with the ire of your rival Joey de Leon who has TV shows on TV5 and GMA, which TV networks are you actually planning on transferring to? IBC 13? NBN? The Dating Daan station.

8. Boy Abunda on 'Kris's Despedida' issue: "Give the girl a break." Uhm, Kuya Boy, kaya nga pinapaalis, para siya magkabreak! Isipin mo, kung aalis si Kris, magkakabreak siya, magkakabreak din ang sambayanang Pilipino! Bongga!

Why I’m voting for Gibo Teodoro

Finally, I have decided who to vote for President on Monday. After much thought, it came down to either Richard Gordon or Gilbert Teodoro. Sorry, but at least for me, the others weren’t even close. I eliminated Villar as early as when he announced his candidacy (and it wasn’t even because of the C5 issue). Nicanor Perlas and JC de los Reyes didn’t really strike me as people who can actually do things on a national scale, although I applaud their efforts in their previous endeavors. Jamby’s anti-Villar campaign focus at the start of the campaign did not impress me. Noynoy Aquino was someone I considered up until I realized something – he hasn’t really done anything. So, I choose Gibo.

I have no grand illusions of this decision as having a ground-breaking, earth-shattering effect on the elections, compared to what I think a popular noontime show host thinks of his grand Vice President “announcement,” but hell yeah, it’s my vote and I am making sure I’m making an informed, well-thought decision. People who think making such a big deal out of one’s vote is unnecessary, close this note now. I guess I’m just someone who thinks exercising my right to vote will give me the right to participate in my country’s future. So, yes, I’ll be entitled to complain come hell or high water if Gibo doesn’t win and whoever sits in the presidency constructs another circus with a 6 year run.

So, why am I voting for Gibo?

• At least for me, the presidency is a job. I consider myself a part of a 36 million-strong country-wide HR department who’ll determine the candidate fitting the position. As any other job interviewer, the first thing I’ll be looking for are qualifications, of course.

• Noynoy Aquino was 3-term congressman and a senator for close to three years. For those more than ten years in the legislative, he became Deputy Speaker for Luzon (a bone tossed by then House Speaker de Venecia to placate his LP dogs/supporters) and Senate Committee Chair on Local Government. He authored 9 bills plus sponsored another 9 in the senate, and those that were actually passed into laws add up to a total of (drumroll, please)... 4. Yes, there’s definitely more to legislature than to write laws. I understand there’s check and balance with the executive and judiciary, adhoc senate committees, etc etc – I graduated with a Political science degree, thank you. But when you have someone like Miriam Defensor-Santiago who has authored around 700+ bills since 2004, heads senate committees, is battling depression after her son’s suicide AND is allegedly psychologically unstable, Noynoy’s 18 bills just doesn’t seem to make sense. At all.

• Erap has had some really solid accomplishments during his interrupted presidency, including the quashing of the MILF, the “booming” of the BPO industry and the use of his picture on MRT cards, a project his predecessor masterminded. He was also found guilty of plunder beyond reasonable doubt and was sentenced to reclusion perpetua. Meaning, he would still be in jail now if not for the presidential pardon a little lady bestowed on him. Bottom line: he’s a criminal who got away.

• Whatever happened to Villar’s Capitol Bank? I still remember watching the news with people lining up just to discover that bank already closed. I just cannot imagine someone running my country if he couldn’t even prevent his bank from going bankrupt. Yes, I know, businessmen are supposed to take risks and make mistakes. But come on, this was a bank with other people’s money, for effing goodness sakes, gone, just like that.

• The use of children, poor (as in fiscally poor, not just cutesy poor) children at that, to campaign for you is inexcusable. I don’t even care if the jingle is as catchy as H1N1 flu. What the heck, letting children tell the public that you are God’s sent to eliminate poverty because you were poor before? How creative and thoroughly disgusting. The worst thing with that campaign was that people easily dismissed it as “You have to hand it to his PR men, the ad is so catchy.” Seriously? From my end it sure looks like Children of the Corn dressed in tattered clothes. Read: BRAINWASHING the most vulnerable, because they are (1) children (who are like tape recorders and repeat anything, catchy or not) and (2) poor (who’ll do anything for a warm meal).

• Another thing that bugs me: candidates that claim that they used to be poor. That was like 30 years ago. You are swimming in money now. Get over it!

• I will not vote for a candidate who hasn’t done anything and just tells everyone to vote for him because he’ll “continue” his parents’ legacy. Our country is brimming with heroes. In that case shall we invite all Osmenas, Aguinaldos, Quezons, Garcias, Magsaysays and Rizals to run for presidency? On second thought, why don’t we all invite all descendants of St. Lorenzo Ruiz to be president? That’s one person recognized not only by the Filipino public, but the entire Catholic Church on all corners of the world. That way we don’t just get the son of a hero and a dead president, we get the grandson or granddaughter of a saint. A SAINT!

• I will not vote for Bro. Eddie because it’s his second time to run. Now, he’s claiming he was called by the higher power for the second time to run again. Now if the same higher power called him to run the first time, why did he lose? The higher power may act in mysterious ways, but for him to let his “chosen one” lose the first time and call him the second time seems a bit absurd.

• Jamby, after Gordon and Gibo, actually has the best public service track record. What I don’t like about her campaign is that she started off by doing an anti-Villar campaign. I don’t really want to give my vote to someone who’s just presenting herself as an alternate to someone she hates. As much as she has already started showing TV ads of her platforms and issues, I think it’s a little too late.

• Until the last minute, I considered Richard Gordon, but then if he couldn’t even run a campaign with his running mate, I’m afraid he might be running a one-man show should he become president. That’s rather scary.

I am voting for Gibo because he has the qualifications for the job. He has the smarts, the leadership skills, a clean track record and holds himself accountable to everything he has done. No “vote for me because I’m the chosen one.” No “vote for me because I’m the son of heroes.” No “vote for me because I used to be poor and poor kids are singing my campaign jingle.” No “vote for me because we all hate this shark of a candidate.”

Of all the candidates, I see myself voting for Gibo and actually being proud of voting for him. I don’t get the feeling that I’ll have to defend him or think twice before telling anyone that he has my vote. If he wins, I am convinced better things are in store for our country. If he loses, then I won’t really be surprised if we’re headed for another six years of waste.

EPAL (Eight Points at Labay-labay*)

* Randomness, in Ilonggo labay-labay (stress on 2nd and 4th syllables) means random and, most of the time, unnecessary stuff. In Bisaya, labay (stress on 1st syllable) means to throw, so I guess, it sort of means the same, right?

(1) I am currently in that smoking area/al fresco area of McDonald's Greenbelt. A few minutes ago, I was minding my own business (tending to my Facebook restaurant and reading Jessica Zafra's blog) when I saw, from my peripheral vision, a European-looking guy (think Peter Sarsgaard) walk over the waist-high glass fence that separated the area from the sidewalk. He approached me, and in ever-so-thinly accented English, asked me for 29 bucks because he needed that much to go home to San Pedro, Laguna. I was dumbstruck for around three seconds before I offered my apologies.

(2) He went inside the store, probably to ask for 29 bucks from someone else. His head was filled with sweat and I was freaked out for a minute before recovering. He was so precise. 29 pesos. He must have really needed it. Lord, sorry. I'm just your regular, jaded Manila resident whose first reaction to any solicitor is a quick N-O.

(3) If he had said that he needed 29 bucks to get to his next pit stop before a team catches up with him in the Amazing Race, I would have reached for my pockets in no time, nanginginig pa.

(4) I just watched An Education days ago, so I really have a HUGE thing for Peter Sarsgaard. It is difficult to say no to Peter Sarsgaard.

(5) If he had asked me for some other thing, it would have taken me a full minute to say no. Nobody says no to Peter Sarsgaard. Who the F cares about Maggie Gylenhaal? Actually, I would have said yes.

No, wait. My morals are intact. Intact ampota.

(6) Now, why is he going home to San effing Pedro in effing Laguna? No offense to Laguna residents, but...?
(7) Wait, are there an abundance of cash-strapped and impossibly hot foreigners in San Pedro, Laguna? Shall we all move to effing San Pedro like, now?

(8) Will somebody tell me how to react to a hot foreigner soliciting cash?